Support for Partners of Child Sexual Abuse Survivors

Child sexual abuse impacts relationships

The violation of childhood sexual abuse affects not only the survivor him/herself but also the relationship with a partner. The profound betrayal of trust that occurs when a child is sexually abused often creates a ripple effect of disruption and mistrust that extends into close adult relationships creating barriers to emotional and physical intimacy.

The unique needs of partners

Quite often, the needs of the partner are overlooked as the survivor struggles to work through the pain of sexual abuse. Partners may often find themselves balancing between the empathic desire to help and support their survivor partner and feeling neglected or even resentful that their needs are overshadowed in the relationship.

Many partners of survivors find that seeking out their own support through individual therapy with a knowledgeable therapist is helpful to provide a space to focus on their own personal and relationship struggles.

Partner Support Group

It is of particular value to join a support group for partners of survivors. Joining with other partners who are also dealing with the effects of childhood sexual abuse in their relationship can offer safety, validation, education, and support.

The Partner Support Groups at Roanoke Park Counseling offer partners a way to focus on their own needs within the context of their relationship with a survivor. Many partners find that the support and validation of the partner support group is invaluable in maintaining their own stability as their partner deals with the effects of childhood sexual abuse.

RPC has been a pioneer in acknowledging the unique needs of partners of survivors by offering a partner support group. This group is open to all partners of survivors whether or not your partner is an active client at RPC.

The format of the group includes sharing time, an educational component, and time to ask questions, all in a supportive space.

The Partner Support Group meets on a weekday evening for successive 8-week cycles.

For more information about the group and our resources for partner support, contact our clinical coordinator, Amanda Franklin, at 206.323.7131

The impact of child sex abuse on relationships

RPC (then Shepherd's Counseling Services) was featured in the October 2008 issue of O, The Oprah Magazine, as a pioneer in providing support for partners of survivors of childhood sexual abuse in an interview with Janice Palm, executive director.

In response to the article, we received a flood of responses from survivors and partners across the country reaching out for help. This outpouring of requests for services for partners underscores the tremendous need for partner support.

As Janice Palm says in David France's Special Report on sexually abused men and support for their women partners:

"Typically there is such shame and inadequacy attached to the abuse - it's the child logic of 'I feel bad, I am bad,' 'I feel dirty, I am dirty' - he likely doesn't want you to see him that way. Or he may be hesitant to expose you to the horror of what happened to him...When you see someone you love suffer and become vulnerable, it's very hard to take care of yourself - but it's crucial for both of you."

• Read the full article, "Love Among the Ruins"
• Read "Was a Man in Your Life Abused" (Sidebar article featuring RPC's Executive Director Janice Palm)